


The World as I See it Now

by EmilySnowP



Category: Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Clawen, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilySnowP/pseuds/EmilySnowP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She was trying not to think about the lives that were lost because of this. Because of her. Because of InGen. Because of Masrani. Because of Hammond. She was smart enough to know that she was not the only person at blame, but there was still blame none the less."<br/>___</p>
<p>They may be off the island, but they are still battling monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Had Enough Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song 10am, Gare Du Nord by Keaton Henson.  
> ___
> 
> Not exactly sure why I started writing this, but once I got started I couldn't stop. This is the first thing I've posted on here, and the first thing I've posted in years. Be gentle, please! This will be multi-chapter, although I am uncertain about it's length. Happy reading!

When they were finally off the island the only thing she could think about was that her nephews were back in the arms of their parents. She wanted them safe from harm, tucked away in their cozy Wisconsin home. All she could think about was the physical trauma they were all dealing with. Both of the boys were covered in scratches and bruises and gashes. Owen had a gash above one of his eyebrows as well as one of his arms. As for her, her damn feet were killing her so much so that she never wanted to walk again.

She was trying not to think about the lives that were lost because of this. Because of her. Because of InGen. Because of Masrani. Because of Hammond. She was smart enough to know that she was not the only person at blame, but there was still blame none the less. And Zara, beautiful Zara...She was dead. Her friend was dead. And Mr. Masrani, her boss of many years and in some ways her friend, was dead. So many people were dead and it was on her shoulders.

“Stop it.” Owen barks out quietly, a slight softness coating his words. They were standing outside of the hangar, away from the giant crowd of tourists. Their eyes were trained on the dark clouds moving in from the west, the same direction they just came from.Her chest became tight as she thought on the island. Images of scales and teeth and blood, so much blood, flooded her mind. How on Earth did they survive? "Claire?"

“Stop what?” Her voice cracks. It’s hoarse and her throat is throbbing with each word. He finally fixes his gaze on her. Those green eyes scare her for some reason.

“I can hear the gears turning in your head.” The raptor trainer’s tone was very matter of fact. “You’re overthinking everything. You’re worrying about things that you can’t control, Claire.” She took a deep breath, taking air in through her open mouth, and exhaling through her nose. Owen was right, although she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know that. They just spent the past twenty-four hours running from monstrous beasts she could never control. Did she not learn anything?

“It’s hard not to.” It surprised her how honest she was being with him. She guessed, though, that when you’re running for your life and working in a combined effort to save your nephews, a certain amount of trust builds up. Just as she was about to continue, a yawn halted her words. Owen practically nodded in agreement. “I’m tired, but I don’t want to sleep.” The possibility of nightmares were all too real...And it wasn’t like she had a place to sleep anyway. Everything she had was on the island.

Owen looked as if he was going to say something, but the frantic calling of her name caused him to swallow his words. Both of them turned around and found Karen, Scott, and the boys walking their way. There was a look of determination on her older sister’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Claire asked, afraid of the answer. Owen moved closer to her, hearing how small her voice sounded. He was pressed against her back. The short red head found it odd when she relaxed at the closeness. The scent of gasoline entered her nostrils. It was thick and heavy and consuming. Karen eyed the two, a confused look on her face. “Kare…”

“Our flight out of here isn’t until tomorrow afternoon, so we are going to stay in a hotel tonight. You can stay with us...You can even have your own room.” Karen, Claire decided, was sounding more and more like their mother everyday.

“Please say yes, Aunt Claire.” Gray pleaded with her softly. She crouched down to his height and squeezed his shoulder. She wanted to tell them she couldn’t. There were too many things that needed to be done. Statements to be made. Calls to lawyers, to members of the board. There was much to be done, but her nephew was pulling at her heart strings. She figured she owed him that much. Owed her family that much.

“Anything for you, little man.” Her eyes stung with unshed tears. When she stood back up, her back was cold with the loss of Owen’s touch. She turned around, an accusing look on her feature. He looked unsure, which Claire thought wasn’t a good look on him. She liked the confident, loud Owen whose warm voice filled empty spaces in whatever room she was in. “Uhm…” She wanted to ask Karen if Owen could come along with them. She didn’t want to part with him just yet, but for some reason the words couldn’t leave her mouth.

“Could Owen go with us?” Zach asked. She looked up to her nephew with thankful eyes.

“Can he mom?!” Her youngest nephew pleaded with his mother.

Zach was backing up his brother, nodding his head. “He saved our lives you know.” Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Owen bow his head bashfully. Karen's gaze was one of awe as she looked at the stranger.

“I...I guess that will be okay. Scott?” She looked to the father of her children for an answer.

“Sure…” He answered, just as in awe as Claire’s sister. Claire relaxed, and smiled softly at the man closest to her. The six began to move forward, Scott gently saying they should probably get going. Her brother-in-law or ex-brother-in-law (she wasn’t sure how to refer to him) struck up a conversation with Owen, starting with his thankfulness. Karen tugged on Claire’s arm, wanting her to hang back with her, walking slower than the men and boys.

“Who is he to you?” Karen asked bluntly. She was never one to shy away from confrontation. Her question was valid though, and Claire wasn’t sure how to answer it. Who was he to her? The slight turn of the head of the man in question clued Claire into the fact that perhaps Karen wasn’t the only one who wanted to know.

“He’s Owen.” She decided, trying to not look at the man himself. It was hard to ignore the way his shoulders relaxed just a little. “I don’t know what else to say, except that he worked with raptors in the park, and he helped me find and save your sons. I’m not sure we would have made it without him.” Her words were so brutally honest, they practically stung. There was no other way to tell Karen who Owen was to her.

“What exactly happened Claire?” Karen asked in an impatient tone. “You weren’t very telling on the phone, and I deserve to know why my sons look so battered?” The oldest Dearing was a mama bear, and Claire being her sister was not going to exclude her from her wrath. Claire took a deep breath, and started her story from the beginning. She skipped over the awful, crude details, but made sure to be honest with her sister. At one point, while in the cab, she couldn’t get through it. Her throbbing throat was closing up and there was a pain tight in her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Owen, who was sitting to her left, grabbed her hand. He didn’t say anything. Karen didn’t say anything. The boys in the back, Scott, the cab driver...No one said anything. When she could breathe normally again, Owen picked up where she left off. All she could do was stare at him.

And he stared right back.


	2. I Am a Fragile One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all have had a wonderful weekend! Back to the real world tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. Read and enjoy!

Karen and Scott got Claire and Owen a room just down the hall from their own. The two groups parted ways, the boys looking like they could fall over any second. That was something Claire easily understood. The room had two full-sized beds, that looked like the comfiest things she’d ever seen. Owen, taking a seat in the chair near the window, offered her first shower and she gladly took it.

Her clothes, which were now rags, lay in a pile near the sink. The water was scalding by the time she stepped under the spray. She watched all the dirt and grime and blood and whatever else she had on her, swirl in gross colors towards the drain. She felt better just standing under the water, only hissing a little as her cuts and bruises were pressed upon by the hard pressure. The water pressure even helped undo the knots of stress which were building up around Claire’s neck and shoulders. The shampoo smelt of berries, and the soap of lavender. She laughed, thinking of Owen smelling like a summer garden. Anything, she told herself, to keep her thoughts away from the dinosaurs.

When she was finished she towel dried herself, and then slipped on one of the fuzzy, white robes hanging on the back of the door. She walked out of the bathroom, running a hand through her hair, shaking out the red locks. The raptor trainer was now standing at the end of one of the beds, a piece of clothing Claire had never seen in his hands.

“Your sister came by.” Owen said standing up, pointing to the bed closest to the bathroom. “She brought us some of their clothes...Said we needed it more than them.” There was something in his voice that Claire identified with all too well. He was grateful for what they did, but he didn’t like asking for or needing help from others. She felt the same. For a second she was taken back to the Innovation Center.

I need you. I need your help.

“The water is wonderful.” She told him, as he began to walk to the bathroom. A second later she heard the water running and figured it was alright to get dressed. She eyed the clothes on the bed for a second, before slipping them on her body. Her sister had given her a pair of black leggings and a green, cotton tunic shirt. This wasn’t something she would normally wear, and she would need to find something else before meeting with her superiors and lawyers. But she wanted to think about that as much as she wanted to think about dinosaurs.

After placing her robe on the chair that Owen occupied minutes ago, Claire climbed into one of the beds and under the covers. She laid on her side, facing the other bed, and the window. Her mind was being flooded with different possibilities of nightmares. Nightmares of scaly beasts and of courtroom trials. How was she ever going to survive the trials? The settlements? She was so entrapped in her thoughts, she didn’t notice Owen was out of the shower until he was climbing into the other bed, wearing just a pair of sweatpants.As he shimmied under the sheets Claire eyed the claw marks and bruises that covered his shoulders. The sight of them made her wince. How was he able to function like he was? Eventually, he turned to his other side and faced her. They just stared at each other, blue colliding with green. She wasn’t aware how long they were staring at each other. It reminded her of when they were crouched low in front of the Jeep in the old park. His gaze was so intense, still, as if his life was in her hands. As though she was the beast who would slaughter him. Claire didn’t like that. She flopped on her back, trying to be graceful about it. 

“You need to sleep Claire.” He sounded tired. And sad. His voice was scratchy, as though he needed to cough, but she knew that wasn’t what was wrong.

“You should sleep, Mr. Grady.” She wasn’t trying to be cute or flirty or show her dominance over him.. It just slipped as it normally would. He smiled though. Her gut clenched. “I can’t sleep. I...I’m afraid.” Claire hated admitting her weaknesses. She built her career on being a strong, independent woman. For all anyone knew, she had no weaknesses. Being this honest and raw with someone had her feeling nauseous. He stood up and walked near her, motioning for the redhead to scoot over. She thought about protesting, but decided to do as he asked. He would keep insisting until she relented. 

“I’ll keep the dino’s away, I am a raptor trainer after all.” It was a lame attempt at trying to be his normal, cocky self. Claire appreciated that for some reason. She liked the sense of normalcy that he was trying to create. “Go to sleep Claire. I’ll take care of you.” His voice was so abnormally quiet, and gentle, she had no choice but to close her eyes.

Claire wasn’t asleep for long though. Her eyes flew open and a scream was stuck in her throat. Sweat coated her back and her brow, and her chest was heaving. The I-Rex was brutally trying to make a meal out of her nephews and she couldn’t do a thing to save them. Taking a few deep breaths she tried to even out her breathing. As she focused on the rise and fall of her chest, a small whimper from beside her touched her ears.

“Owen…” She called out softly, sitting up to look at him. He was asleep, a grimace on his face. His head was turning back and forth in a fitful sleep. Claire looked at him, unsure of what to do. “Owen, wake up please.” Just as before, there was no response to her calling his name. She placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed on it softly. “Wake up, Owen!” His mouth opened and a small scream escaped his throat. “Owen! Wake up, dammit!” Claire shook him, silently praying he would wake up. “Wake up!” His eyelids were open in a flash and his pupils were large leaving a little rim of green.

“Claire…” He was out of breath, panting her name.

“You’re okay, Owen.” She didn’t know if she was good at nurturing, but she could sure as hell try. “You’re alive. You’re here. You’re fine.” That seemed like the biggest lie she’d ever told. They were not fine. They were afraid, and scarred both mentally and physically.

“Did I wake you up?” He sat up, his back against the headboard, not really looking her in the eye.

“No. I was already awake.” It wasn’t untrue. “I had a nightmare too.”

“You want to talk about it?” This side of Owen was so new to her. She was so used to the rough and cocky trainer. “It helps. Trust me.” Claire was reminded in that moment, that maybe this wasn’t his first go around with nightmares. Maybe his time in the Navy left him scarred as well.

“It was just the indominus. She was after the boys and I couldn’t do anything, but watch.” Why stop being honest now? “I felt so useless...Powerless.” She felt weak, and if there was one thing Claire Dearing was determined not to be, it was weak. “Was yours about the I-Rex?” He shook his head.

“It was actually about one of my tours overseas.” His statement confirmed her earlier thoughts. “You know that you aren’t weak right Claire? Maybe a little uptight and headstrong, but never weak.” She narrowed her blue eyes. He laughed. “Man, oh man, you looked just like Blue when you did that!” If it were any other person, she would have taken offense to have been likened to a dinosaur, but it was a compliment from Owen. He loved his girls like a normal person would love their dog.

“I’m sorry about your raptors.”

“Me too, Claire...Me too.”


	3. Turns Out Nothing is Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Hope you all are doing well! I'm currently drowning in a choppy sea that some refer to as finals, so of course I avoid all responsibility by writing! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

She was sitting at Karen’s kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hands. Claire wasn’t actually sure how she got there. One second she’s sitting in a boardroom full of executives, the next she was boarding a plane ready to leave San Diego. When her flight landed in Madison, she called Karen, telling her she’d be over in about forty minutes. And an hour later she was sipping on a cup of tea, avoiding the gaze of her sister.

“You left?” Her sister sounded so surprised by that. “In the middle of a meeting?” Claire nodded, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You just got up and left?” Karen was beginning to sound like a broken record player. It was grating on Claire’s nerves. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just...That doesn’t sound like you Claire Bear.” The young Dearing pursed her lips at the old nickname her grandfather bestowed upon her.

“Well, when you have lawyers jumping on your right side, and the board of chairmen on the left, each trying to take as much of you as they can, it changes a person.” Never sleeping, constant panic attacks, and dinosaurs can also change a person, but she didn’t feel the need to add that part. She was sure that Karen was seeing all of that being played out in the lives of her sons. “I have one group of lawyers telling me that everything that happened was my fault because I didn’t follow the procedures that were put in place. They tell me that I should have done more to help the people.” It wasn’t all her fault though...Was it? “ Then I have another group telling me that I’m actually the hero of the story…’The Heroine of Jurassic World’ is what they’re trying to brand me as. It's as if I’m a commodity on the market that they want to sell.” They wanted to sell the idea that one of Masrani’s own saved the park. The board members and lawyers alike wanted everyone to know that it wasn’t the company's fault.

“What the hell…” Karen breathed out. “That’s...I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this, Claire. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have flown out, or I could have at least listened.” Claire couldn’t have Karen to do that for her. She didn’t deserve it. Not after she almost got her nephews eaten. Not after she’d practically abandoned her family for years.

“Well, I’m here now.” She took another sip of her tea, letting the peppermint bring a calmness that washed over her. “I don’t know how long I’m here for. If you don’t want me here, I can just get a hotel room...Or I could go stay with Mom and Dad.” An email was sent to all the board members and a few of the lawyer’s letting them know she was taking some personal leave time. She explained that she hadn’t taken any personal time to be with her family or to recuperate after the events that happened at Jurassic World. It’d been well over a month. She needed this time.

“Don’t be silly Claire. Why waste money on a hotel room when you can stay in the guest room for free, here? And I know you really wouldn’t want to stay with Mom and Dad either. Have you even told them you’re here?” Claire shook her head softly. “Well, when Mom finds out, she’ll probably try to lock you in the basement, and never let you leave home again.” Two days after leaving the dinosaur infested island, she finally got ahold of her parents. They were both frantic, crazy with worry. Her mother was extremely overbearing. Her father was just relieved.

“I know. Could you not mention to them that I’m back in Wisconsin yet? Mom can be a little bit like the lawyers.” Karen nodded, moving her hand to squeeze Claire’s.

“You know, the boys will be so excited to see you when they get home from school. They’ve missed you Claire, and that man...Owen?” Claire hadn’t seen Owen since she left Costa Rica, and she hadn’t spoken to him in almost three weeks. Part of that was because she’d been so busy defending the choices she made in the park and trying to convince some that she wasn’t the hero of the story. The other part was that she was afraid. Something about that man and the realness and rawness he brought out of her, scared Claire. She ran from him like they did from the tyrannosaurus rex... She was woman enough to admit that. 

“I’ve missed them too.” The redhead smiled fondly, meaning the words she said. She truly had missed her nephews. Karen gave her a look, letting her know she wasn’t completely off the hook. “I ran from him Karen. I was scared, for so many reasons and I ran, but that’s okay. He and I would never work out.” There was uncertainty in her voice as she said that. Why was there uncertainty? “Do you remember board shorts guy?” Karen nodded. “That’s him. Owen and I are just too different.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe those differences can provide strengths where each of you has weakness? From what I saw, Claire, he was a great guy and boys hardly ever shut up about him. Just give it some thought.” Her sister got up, taking her empty mug to the sink. “I think you could use someone like that in your life.”

Claire did think on it. She thought about their date, and how it made her so angry that he wore board shorts. She thought about how laid back he was and how he could be annoying and a little cocky sometimes. She didn’t like that in a man. But she also thought about how he helped save her nephews, even when he didn’t have to. She thought about how she thought he was dead for almost forty minutes after communication was lost in the indominus rex exhibit. She thought about his lips on hers. His eye on her. How he treated her with the respect she deserved. How he made her open up in a way she didn’t like to open up. Maybe Karen was right. 

“Aunt Claire!” Gray yelled as he and Zach came through the door from the garage. Both boys dished out long hugs, and just as Claire was going to ask how their days were, Gray asked her a question that stopped her in her tracks. “Where’s Owen? Did he come with you?” They looked so disappointed when she said that he wasn’t.

Later that night though, after dinner had been eaten and the boys started on homework, she walked out on the back deck, her phone in hand. She stared at the screen, for a long time, just looking at his name. After a few minutes though, she took a deep breath and pressed the little phone icon near his number. It rang for a few seconds, and then he picked up.

“Claire?” She didn’t even realize she’d missed that voice until she heard it.

“Uhm...Hey Owen.” Claire could have slapped herself. What was he doing to her to make her sound so unsure. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.” He didn’t sound fine. He sounded tired. “How are you, Claire?”

“I’m okay. I’m in Madison, taking so time to be with my family. The boys...Well, they won’t stop asking about you. My sister won’t even stop asking about you. Zach and Gray really want to see you, and I know you’re probably busy, but I thought I’d ask. Would you like to come to visit? I’ll pay for your plane ticket if you don’t feel like spending money on a flight.” The desperation in her voice was beyond evident. “I...Owen, please say you will.”

“You don’t have to buy my ticket, Claire. I’ll try to get the first flight out tomorrow, okay?” She smiled at his words, letting go of a breath she didn’t know she held. “I miss you, Claire.”

“I can’t wait to see you, Owen.”


	4. Trying to Figure Out How

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this has been awhile. Finals week, yanno? I shouldn't use that as an excuse. Happy reading, y'all!

“When is he getting here Aunt Claire?” Gray asked her at breakfast the next morning. It was early, Saturday morning. They were the only two that were up. Claire sat at the table reading the paper, occasionally drinking from her mug of coffee. Gray was eating a bowl of cereal, reading a book. The similarities they shared made Claire smile.

“3:45, Gray.” When she’d come into the house the night before, Karen pounced on her. The older sister started asking questions. Asking who she was talking to and what it’d been about. It didn’t take more than an hour for her young nephews to find out, and just like their mother, they pounced. They were extremely excited to see the man that helped rescue them. Claire would have been lying if she said she wasn’t just as happy.

“Where is he coming from?” His eyes were wide and happy, and she knew that it was the first time since being on the island since he’d been that way. It had been a long time since she felt that way.

“His flight is out of Georgia in about an hour.” He’d been outside of Columbus staying with his family, helping out at the veterinary clinic his grandfather started many years before. When they talked they didn’t say too much. He’d asked what she’d been up to in the past couple of weeks and she answered briefly, not wanting to explain over the phone. Out of politeness, and pure curiosity, she asked the same. He talked about being back with his parents again and helping them out with the business. Claire thought it was fitting, a man who studied animal behavior in school and trained raptors for a living, started off in a veterinary clinic.

“He needs to hurry.” Claire nodded at his words.

Around lunch, Claire was in the middle of washing dishes. It was a task that’d become soothing to her. Above the sink was a window that overlooked the backyard. She would stare out the window and let her thoughts drift off. She didn’t have to worry about anything. Zach was sitting on the stool at the island, working on a paper that was due the next week.

“Hey Claire?” She looked back at him over her shoulder. “When is Owen getting here?” She sighed. Zach constantly tried to act like a laid back teenager, who didn’t have a care in the world. He tried to give off vibes to make people he was around think he was cool. It was typical teenage behavior. Despite the persona that he gave off, he sounded like his younger brother.

“I’m leaving for the airport as soon as I finish the dishes.” She only had a few left.

“Can I go? And Gray?” Claire couldn’t deny her nephews anything, but the idea of going alone with them scared her. The last time the boys were entrusted in her care she almost got them eaten alive.

“Yeah sure, and your Mom can go too.” She hoped it wasn’t overwhelming for Owen, to be greeted by the four of them. Something told her though, that he would be just fine. She’d seen him in some of the most pressure filled moments of any of their lives. He could meet her family and be just fine.

All the way to the airport Gray bounced in his seat, rattling off all of the things he wanted to ask Owen or tell Owen. Claire was bouncing in her seat of an entirely different reason. There was a ball of nervousness sitting in her gut. She was excited, but the last time she’d seen him she’d opened herself up in a way that she’d never opened up to anyone. He was good for her too, but that was frightening. He was frightening. The future was frightening. It was all as frightening in a way that enormous dinosaurs were not. Karen kept sliding her eyes over to her sister. The look on her face was one of surprise. She’d never seen her sister act like that. Claire herself was surprised by this. Her entire life she was the epitome of calm, cool, and collected. She guessed, though, that when your work place becomes overrun with carnivorous creatures the calm, cool, and collected goes out the window. Claire loved control, but in the aftermath of the incident on the island, her control slipped away. Everything was harder to have a grip on. She couldn’t control how the lawyers approached her. She couldn’t control her nightmares or panic attacks, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t control her emotions, her feelings. It was all so overwhelming. She just wanted a moment to breathe, to have that control back.

“Claire?”. The younger redhead blinked, looking towards her sister who’d called her name. “We’re here.” Sure enough, her sister was pulling into a parking spot in front of the Dane County Regional Airport. Taking a deep breath, Claire opened the door. She straightened out her jacket, and smoothed out her scarf. “You look fine Claire Bear.” Giving a huff of annoyance, and ignoring her nephews snickering, she marched toward the building.

When they were inside, surrounded by the warm air, Claire moved the sleeve of her jacket to take a peek at her watch. Owen would be landing soon. Now all she had to do was wait. There was nothing she could do now. Owen was going to be here. She couldn’t send him home the moment he touched ground. She wasn’t sure that Gray and Zach would ever forgive her if that happened. While they waited, Gray started sharing facts that he knew about airplanes and airports. Zach, who normally wouldn’t even bother coming, listened to his brother and encouraged him by asking questions or making comments. The two Dearing women looked on with fondness. Claire noticed how her sister seemed happy for the first time in years. It made her smile and she told her sister as much. They began to quietly chat about the boys and how they were dealing with the divorce, and how Karen, while she missed Scott and what she had with him, she knew she was better off. Just as Claire was about to ask when the boys were going to stay with their father, her name was called out.

“Claire!” She turned her head and smiled. Owen was standing about twenty feet away from her. She stood up and quickly walked towards him. They stared at each other for a second. It’d been almost a month since she’d seen him, but he looked different. He looked better. His skin wasn’t as dark because he hadn’t been in the tropical sun, and his face was a little bit more scruff. And his eyes, oh, his eyes. The gray of his jacket made his eyes greener than emeralds. “You aren’t wearing heels.” Claire’s eyes widened in surprise at his words. She looked down at her feet, wiggling her toes, before looking back up with a smile on her face. 

“You need a haircut.” And then she started laughing. It wasn’t her normal, professional Claire laugh. It was a laugh that was deep from her belly. Owen joined in. To the rest of the world they probably looked like maniacs and for once in her life, Claire didn’t mind.

“My hair has gotten pretty long, hasn’t it?” He said once they stopped laughing, running a hand through the ends that were slightly curled on his neck. For a second he eyed her and then placed his rucksack on the ground, pulling her in for a hug. “I’ve missed you, Red.” Unsure, she wrapped her arms around his waist, as he held her to him. She smiled at his remark. Behind Claire, Karen cleared her throat and the two let go of each other.

“Owen!” Gray exclaimed, throwing himself at the former raptor trainer.

“Hey, big man!” Owen ruffled Gray’s hair and the young boy hugged his waist, letting go when Zach told him to move. “What’s up, Zach?” Zach came towards him, the two clasped hands and patted each other on the back in a manly hug.

“Hi, Mr. Grady. It’s so good to see you again.” Claire looked at her sister, and then looked at Owen, catching his eye. She snorted, trying to cover up a laugh. Owen openly laughed while the other three were just confused.


	5. But I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like I haven't posted in awhile. Sorry about that! Finals and getting home for Christmas break have been occupying my time since I last posted! Hope you all enjoy this. Happy reading!

“How have you been?” Owen asked her as she led him to the office. There was a pull out bed he would be staying on. Claire told him it wasn't the most comfortable thing. He started to make a joke that she must have never slept on his bed in his bungalow, but the mention of the island made things go quiet. He asked how she was to pick the conversation back up.

“Fine.” She was lying, but for some reason she couldn't get herself to be honest. Being honest made her weak. Owen, made her weak. Perhaps asking him here had been a bad idea, Claire thought. She’d let her family convince her that it was alright to let her guard down, that it was okay to need help, but if she were being honest with herself, Claire felt in her heart of hearts that she needed Owen for more than just help.

“You're lying to me.” Owen’s tone wasn't accusing and it wasn't hurtful. He sounded tired. Claire sighed, trying to avoid his gaze.. She was tired too. “Claire, how have you been?” He asked her once more as they just stood lamely in the middle of Karen’s home office. “Claire, how are you doing?” The man in front of her was asking again, this time his tone a little more demanding. She couldn't help but flick her eyes up to his. It was like he was talking to one of his raptors. I am not one of your damn animals. But he wasn't treating her like an animal, he was just calling her out on her bullshit. Only Karen ever called her out on that, and even then that was few and far between. Claire had a chance now and she knew, depending on how she answered, that things would change.

“I'm exhausted, Owen.” Her shoulders slumped as though the weight she’d been carrying around since the incident, since she took the job at Jurassic World, was gone. “So damn exhausted.” She cringed at how small her voice sounded. This wasn't just a moment of weakness, like the day in the hotel room on Costa Rica. This was different. Claire wasn’t sure how it was different, but she knew everything would change. Nothing was going to be the same after this. This man, that was practically a stranger, was going to know her innermost thoughts. The battles that she fought everyday.

“Tell me, Claire.” Owen took her hands and guided her to the small leather sofa. He was asking her to be completely transparent, and so she was. Claire told him about all of the lawyers, about how they wanted to praise her and condemn her all at once. She told him that she wanted to quit. That she hated still being on the payroll of a company like Masrani Global. She told him about her nightmares, about how every night she was back on that damned island and he died and Zach died and Gray died, but she didn't. She just stood there, frozen in fear. She told him she felt the need to constantly look over her shoulder, afraid that some ancient reptilian creature was going to eat her alive. That somehow, his presence made her feel a little more safer. And then when she was done she started crying and couldn't stop. “Oh, Claire.” There was no pity in his voice. He wasn't babying her, treating her like the weakling she felt she was.

He gathered her in his lap. One hand was sitting on her waist, warm and firm. The other was on her arm, moving up and down. He whispered soft words into her ear, the bass of his voice grounding. Claire tried to focus on his voice and the repetitive motion of his fingers trailing up and down against her skin. Each time his fingers moved toward her shoulder she would inhale, and when they moved towards her wrist, she would exhale. By evening out her breathing she was able to get a grasp on her panic. The tears stopped flowing, and her breathing returned to normal. Instead of focusing on the movement of calloused fingers, she now focused on the rise and fall of Owen’s chest. She felt so small, against the hard muscle. Small was synonymous for weak, so she shifted out of his lap.

“Thanks.” Claire pulled on her shirt, trying to straighten it out. Wrinkles appeared in the soft cotton as she sat curled up in the Navy man’s lap. “I'm sorry you had to see that.” She was trying to close herself off again. She had been far too open with him. It was as though once she opened her mouth, she couldn’t stop talking. It was embarrassing. She regretted it, and Owen knew the direction her thoughts were now heading.

“I'm not. Claire, showing emotion doesn't make you weak, or whatever the hell you’re thinking it does, it makes you human. That's what makes us different from those animals on that island.” She stiffened at the mention of the dinosaurs. Was this going to happen every time, she wondered Was she damned to be haunted by those creatures for the rest of her life? “I'm glad you opened up to me, because I'm assuming you haven't talked to anyone at all.”

“That's not true.” She huffed, narrowing her eyes at him. Her arms quickly crossed over her chest. She was on the defense. “The company made me talk to someone before meeting with all the lawyers.”

“They wanted to see if you were sane enough to continue, right?” Owen’s words weren't mean, they were honest. “And I bet you told them everything they were looking for, but you didn't really open yourself up.” Her hands dropped to her lap and she looked away in shame. He caught her. “Claire, that's in the past now. Nothing you can do about it. But you can change how you deal with this stuff in the future.”

“How?” She asked. Everything in her life was so uncertain right now. Everything was hanging in the balance. She did not like that. It all felt as though it was out of her control, and she hated not having control. Claire thrived off having control. Maybe Owen knew that. Maybe Owen wanted to change that.

“Well for starters, don’t close yourself off anytime you're open with me.” His voice was tender. He was soft with her, careful, but it was different than before. It wasn't in a way that made her feel weak. It made her feel wanted. It made her feel like he cared. “Have you thought about going to counseling? Or even talking with the boys about it?” She shook her head.

“I can't.” Owen was about to say something, but she stopped him. “I mean, I can't right now. It takes a lot for me to be open with someone like that, and I can only take it a step at a time. You're the first step Owen, so please, don’t ask much more of me right now.” She was begging, pleading with him. She could only take so much, and asking her to be open with more than just him was asking too much. This was all new territory for her, the sharing thing. The being open thing. The being honest thing. Karen was the only one she typically opened up to, and even then she was still very tight lipped. This uncharted territory was frightening for her.

“Alright, then. Baby steps.” Owen took her hand and squeezed it lightly. She found herself liking the way his hands felt in hers. They were so different. Hers were soft and cold. His were hard and calloused from working with his hands. She liked that they were different.

“Maybe, with your help, I can open up to the boys. Maybe we both can.” Claire asking for help was a big thing, and by the look Owen had on his face, she knew that he understood that. “They’ve been going to therapy, but I know that things are still hard for them. Getting back into a routine has only helped so much. They still have nightmares at night. Gray jumps every time he hears a bird tweet and Zach is as protective as a mother bear. They need your help too, Owen.”

“They need our help, Claire.” He corrected her. “We can do that. You can do this. Claire, you’re one of the strongest women...one of the strongest people I know. You’ll be just fine.” His words had her soaring. “Things will get better.” With such certainty in his voice, how could she not believe him?


End file.
